Growing up with three brothers, I was taught well the importance of sharing — which was a bit more complex than just “sharing is good.” For every thing we were expected to share (toys, treats, physical space) there were just as many things we were expected to keep to ourselves (germs, insults, slaps). Sharing, then, relied on a delicate balance of selflessness, discretion, and common sense — three of the biggest casualties of social media.
These days, sharing has graduated from the intimacy of a simple person-to-person gesture into something more like a public performance: To your friends and followers, to a large extent, you are what you share (or forward, or retweet). And despite their constant flow of shared content, social platforms like Facebook and Twitter are a lot more like a pool than a stream, meaning whatever you toss in is what the rest of us have to swim around in.
Keep that pool metaphor handy, and it might be enough to correctly steer you away from contributions that are unpleasant, unwelcome, or just downright toxic. But should there be any uncertainty about what you should share, here’s a well-intentioned short list of no-no’s.
RAW FOOTAGE
Last week, thousands of people unwittingly witnessed the murder of a Viriginia news crew. I was one of them. Only, it happened about three or four times. That the killing of journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward (and the lethal injury of interviewee Vicki Gardner) was broadcast to a live audience was horrible enough, but that footage, as well as a pair of videos shot by the gunman himself documenting the attack, soon found their way onto social media.
Before Twitter and Facebook had a chance to disable the profiles of the alleged shooter (a disgruntled former employee of the same station), his video, which captures the murder in gruesome detail, had already cued up in thousands of news feeds and timelines. And thanks to the autoplay features touted by Facebook and Twitter to boost video consumption, many users were 10 seconds into the footage before they realized what it was (raises hand), and by then it was too late.
This happens all the time now. Gruesome car accidents, ISIS assassinations, and other blasts of uninvited violence regularly slide into sight, their mayhem already in progress. And while both Twitter and Facebook make it possible to disable autoplay by tweaking a few settings, I actually happen to like autoplay (despite how it nips at my data plan).
We’d be better off if chronic sharers of disturbing/disgusting footage would adjust their own proverbial settings, and simply not share it. Should I feel compelled to sit through a snuff film, a sex tape, or a drone strike, I assure you, I can find them myself.
CAUGHT UNAWARE
For some, it’s become a noble endeavor to disrupt the frivolous flow of baby pictures, lunch photos, cat videos, and bored mutterings that comprise our feeds with doses of “awareness,” often administered through memes, which can range from the specious (see: pretty much any political meme) to grotesque reminders of what “real problems” look like.
So when an image of a human foot rotted through to the bone emerges on my screen, it’s done (I am assured by a friend) to raise consciousness of the risks of diabetes; or a mound of nondescript bodies, posted to remind all who scroll by that war is a bad thing; or the image of a weeping father carrying the corpse of his young daughter through the streets of a village after she was attacked by piranhas, intended to raise . . . piranha awareness, I guess?
Please stop doing this. A good rule of thumb when deciding whether an upsetting image is worth posting is to imagine its text equivalent. If it wouldn’t occur to you to post “Hey guys, heads up: Given the chance, piranhas could very well eat your children,” you can spare us the photo evidence.
SAY WHAT
Perhaps more irritating than the overly explicit is the under-explicit: “Cannot believe what a ‘friend’ just posted.” “Something big is about to happen, wish I could spill it!” “If you were trying to hurt me, congratulations.”
Despite its place as social media enemy No. 1, the practice of vaguebooking remains aggravatingly common. It’s akin to a radio DJ tunelessly humming a few bars of the song she‘d totally play (if only she could!). Meanwhile, likers enable these vaguebookers, encouraging more contentless content — posts that amount to a flung fistful of tea leaves.
When posting, try to bear in mind a slight revision of that familiar mantra of homeland security: “If you say something, say something.” Imagine your readers as a pond full of piranhas. Bring us your daughter, or stay out of the water.
EXIT STAGE RIGHTEOUS
Lastly — and this is a big one — when you finally decide to pack it in, shut it down, and leave Facebook or Twitter altogether, you needn’t post an elaborate farewell detailing all of the ways you’ve been wronged and how much better life will be once you’re free of the reflex to share every thought you have. In doing so, you are staging an elaborate performance of the alleged problem. (A CollegeHumor video from earlier this year likens this practice to loudly announcing one’s departure from a party. Just go.)
Facebook and Twitter are a lot more like a pool than a stream, meaning whatever you toss in is what the rest of us have to swim around in.
Completely deleting a Facebook profile is a project all its own, so it’s a better move for you and your readers to just jump ship, make your contact info easily available, and ghost gently into that good night.
Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter @MBrodeur.